I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
