Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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