im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
