I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
