Three words: puerto rican gang bang
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I need moral support for this bender
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize