what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
