If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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