he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize