You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
