I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
