at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
