dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
