hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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