So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
