ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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