Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you win again, gameday.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
