dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
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We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
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it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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