If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
