So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
