hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
