He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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