i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
