Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
bring money and cleavage
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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