I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
