ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
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