so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
i out mim tonsoeep
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