That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Randomize
