I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
