I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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