So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
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It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
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They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize