so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
