You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
