one two three fourrrrnication!
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
