My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you inspire me to be a worse person
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize