just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
