Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
