I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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