so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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