dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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