so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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