if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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