I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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