Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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