bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
BRING THE BAGELS
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
