dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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