You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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