My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
