We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just gift wrapped bread.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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