I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Its about making memories worth repressing
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
