How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
