i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
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I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
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I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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