She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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