what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
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