i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
