No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
