I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
