I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
