The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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