i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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