I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
