UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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