what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
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he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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