What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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