someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
