I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
tell me about the fingering
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