My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
