are you still at the devil's house?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
